december - the past few days!

I think I'm pretty sure I foretold of my inability to keep up with self-enforced deadlines and daily photo projects, so I won't go on about it now. There are genuine and legitimate reasons for not keeping up and it's really only the blogging of the photos that I'm behind with. I have been taking pictures most days and trying to capture a true picture of what's going on in our lives this Christmas.To say it's not the usual December frivolities wouldn't even begin to describe what we've been dealing with. But it is true what they say - life does, indeed, go on. And there have been lessons learnt along the way. So the following pictures are a visual journey of my past week. Please forgive me for not elaborating on each photo but most are fairly self-explanatory and others may have some witty comment attached just for the sheer heck of it!

letters to Santa are safely on their way with great conviction that their 'excellent' behaviour will get them all the Lego and football gear they desire!

the definite nip in the air has arrived and necessitated the annual clearing out of hats and gloves. I've been particularly loving overhearing irate conversations about the state of the weather and absence of gritters as folk tell their tales of slipping all over the place on their way to work. Perhaps they failed to notice the last 2 winters and are unaware that the weather will be baltic until April!

this is a paltry photo all on its lonesome, but what pretty vampires! (Vampire Diaries - it's my new obsession!)

Michael and I enjoyed a spot of Christmas shopping in Belfast this week. I love the new arcs and banners on Royal Avenue celebrating some of the greatest ships ever to come out of this city. I also love Starbucks gingerbread lattes and cranberry and orange muffins! Look at the little muffin alien face!

Thursday was officially Christmas tree day. That it was a tad late only made it all the more fun choosing and decorating it. One of my favourite parts of the season is the unearthing of all the decorations that come out each year to adorn the tree - those that we've had for years and those we bought half price last year in the garden centre sale. It's tradition, it reeks of memories of past Christmases, it's joyful and magical and just so much fun!

this is what I'm referring to as the 'self-portrait experience' series of shots. I hate self-portraits but it occurred to me that I'm in shockingly few of the December photos so far so I had no choice but to take matters into my own hands. These were done with the timer - can you tell?! I am particularly proud of the top one of just my weird looking hand creeping into the top left of the frame!

You've got to love the through the tree shots!

I wanted to document a bit of the festive decorating aside from the tree. There is barely a surface left untouched, between candles, advent calendars and books. The bottom of these pictures really just about sums up my life  - Jesus, Twilight and Agatha Christie! I'm not even bothered about the picture I am painting of myself because, you know, there's not one of those parts of me that I don't feel passionately about and will gladly talk about in an animated fashion!

Ah, Gisela Graham Christmas accessories, how I love you all!

and this is why my documentation is not always up to date. This place is teaching us so many things right now, about family, faith, priorities and patience. For those lessons I will be eternally grateful, but learning them this way is incredibly difficult. I know so many of you have been praying for my dad's recovery and I wanted to say thank you, from all of us. You have no idea what your support, from just across the ring road to the far reaches of the world, has meant to us. And will continue to mean to us in the coming days and weeks. We are blessed in ways none of us ever realised before.

My mum has, however, complained on the journeys to and from the hospital that we need a new cd for the car because we are always playing this one from the lovely Kate Rusby. It is Christmas loveliness like you've never known! If it's new to you I can't recommend it highly enough. Go on, have a listen and see if you can refrain from downloading it!

Edited: I can't get the video to show here but you can see it here.

December 4th and 5th

Just a few pictures of the past couple of days. It's late, I'm over tired and not at my best at all tonight. But, in accordance with my self-imposed rules, I don't want to fall too far behind in my chronicling of the festive month.December 4th continued the way of previous days, that is, it didn't quite go according to plan. Only one out of two boys made it to the BB carol service thanks to an unexpected high temperature that called for dressing gown and blanket over clothes! Conor, however, did make it and we enjoyed the usual amount of chaos that accompanies all Anchor Boys events, along with some Lego retelling of the Nativity. Love that Lego is officially part of the holidays now!This was also the first day my car asked if I was 'OK' with the cold temperature outside. I love how as soon as it hits 3 degrees or lower it flashes its warning at me. I must then tell it I am indeed 'OK' with it if I want to be able to use any of the other display features! It's how we bond, me and my little Corsa!Yesterday was another day of normal goings on and not much in the festive vibe. I had to take things into my own hands in order to get a few photos, so I took my phone for a night walk between a BB drop off and pick up. Just a quick dander down into Bangor in the freezing cold which I was not ok with at all! My aim was to take a few photos of the town's Christmas decor. It's something I look forward to and bemoan at the same time each year. Every year I am hopeful that someone will take a bit more care in stringing the lights on the tree or that there'll be something new and spectacular that will bring good cheer to all and sundry. And every year the tree looks like someone was forced to string the lights in a manner that shows absolutely no care for aesthetics and the display beneath the tree is enclosed in perspex to protect it against vandals and theives. Oh well, at least there's consistency, and since Christmas is steeped in tradition I can't complain too much about the traditions of the town.Since my walk started at church I thought it only right that I include it in the documentation. I love this building. It feels like home when I am there. And this window is amazing when it's lit from the inside.The stunning tree with its rows of lights! The Santa display is delightfully kitsch, but I am always disappointed that a few years ago the Nativity scene was replaced by Santa and Rudolph. If it wasn't for the darn perspex I'd be tempted to put a baby Jesus in there!The lights have changed a little this year, but thankfully the little train above one of the banks remains true. It will forever remind me of when the boys were really small and loved all things to do with trains. They were always so excited to see these lights.One last thing that has featured greatly in the past few days has been the Third Day Christmas Offerings cd. I love it with a passion. Especially their version of O Holy Night. For me it it sums up what Christmas really means to me - a gift I can never be thankful enough for but for which I will be eternally grateful.If you haven't heard it before it's well worth a listen. In my humble opinion.(look  how easy I've made it for you to listen to !)http://youtu.be/ZKX3eyYuJ9c

December 3rd

I'm beginning to realise that trying to post the day's pictures along with some thoughts on them is tricky. It's leading to a lot of late night blogging, which is eating into valuable Vampire Diaries viewing time, which quite frankly I'm not that happy about! So after this post I think it will make more sense if I post photos and words from the day before which means better reading for you and more vampires for me - hurrah! Everyone's a winner!I notice from the few lines that I've just written that I'm feeling the need to explain myself to you. Why, I have no idea! It smacks of my self-imposed rules on this kind of project - thinks to herself , 'I said I'd do it, but I'm struggling to keep up each day, so I'll change the way I do it, only that's not what I said at the start, so I've broken my own rules blah, blah, blah...!!' I'm my own worst enemy.Anyway, today. Today was busy. It was creative, messy, stressful, fun but ended with mulled wine which is only ever a good thing in my book. And it looked like this.

funky nail polish that comes with a magnet to make cool patterns! Who knew?

the boys made plates for their teachers' Christmas presents (hope they don't read this!). Obviously this could be misconstrued as mummy wanted to go to Eden Pottery again and this was a good excuse to just ooh and aah all over the pretty Christmas pottery. Whatever the motive, it was top notch fun all round. And look how creative and fabulous they've been. Bless! (I'm not saying this is the last you'll see of Eden this side of the 25th!)

I went to visit my dad today after his surgery yesterday. Hospitals aren't in my comfort zone. But dad is doing ok and the ICU staff couldn't be nicer so that's  all good. In order to take my mind off the fact that I was following signs for intensive care I kept on the lookout for things to photograph. Empty hospital corridors make for nice atmospheric photographs, but they haven't done anything to put hospitals within my comfort zone!

More elving. This time it was paper snowflakes. I think we'll have to plant a tree or two after the holidays to make up for the amount of paper we're quite literally tearing through! But for the pure joy that paper circles and a pair of scissors are bringing to our kitchen table I'm happy to do that. We're taking this all very seriously, and I'm bracing myself for the fact that glitter is probably going to feature tomorrow. I've put it off for 3 days now and Conor's will is much stronger than mine!

Tomorrow I'm going to make much more effort with my camera. I had it with me at Eden pottery today, but you can't see the pictures I wanted to take because despite charging the battery, I forgot to replace the CF card! It's surely a sign that my head is too busy. Or just that 40 has finally kicked in!

December 2nd

It's been an odd day today and I have no photos to show why. Suffice to say my dad underwent major surgery to remove tumours in his liver and bowel. While he did that, my sister and I took my mum shopping in Belfast where I managed to buy nothing other than a bottle of (very cool magnetic) nail polish! Thankfully the surgery went entirely according to plan and he is through the worst with a very positive prognosis. But it was a weird experience.In the back of my head the whole time, however, were thoughts about how I was ever going to be ready for the charity craft evening that a few friends and I had organised for tonight. Admittedly the timing was less than ideal, but I'm so glad we went ahead and did it. I have some amazingly talented friends who make everything from jewellery to paper mache, and cushions to applique pictures. Which meant that not only did we get to admire and buy each other's creations, but we had tip top festive fun with a lot of other amazing friends and family! And raised some lovely money for Christians Against Poverty, our chosen charity. They do such an incredible work helping people out of debt - you should really visit their website and read some of the stories of lives transformed. A-maz-ing! Anyway, I have only a few photos of the evening as I was having too much fun just being part of it all. So this is all I have for today. But that's two days under my belt and I'm feeling good about this December daily malarkey!

December Daily

I've pondered the title of this post long and hard and can't help but feel it needs a bi-line and a bit of explanation. Many of you who read Ali Edwards' blog will be most familiar with the idea of the December Daily. It's a way of documenting the festive season through photographs, written thoughts, bits and bobs you pick up along the way and pretty scrapbooking papers and embellishments. It's a truly great concept and every year I faithfully follow Ali as she puts together an amazing book celebrating her family's Christmas. And every year I put myself under silly amounts of pressure to do the same. And I fail. Epically! My bi-line for the blog post should read "December Daily - well I can but try!" I have any number of half finished December Daily books hidden in my study. Hidden because they make me feel guilty. Guilty for not documenting everything; for leaving projects half finished; for not using all the great ideas I had.Last year I couldn't bear the guilt before I started, so I just did nothing. And this year I haven't given it much thought. Until tonight, when I decided I want to do something to document our Christmas season but without putting unnecessary pressure on myself. There's enough stress going on in our lives right now without me adding to it myself, but I fancy that a bit of creative something could be just the thing to give me the balance I so desperately want at this time of year. And so I shall bring you my own version of the December Daily here on the blog. Now, just to let you know, I am notoriously appalling at sticking to photo projects, so if I manage to get as far as next week I'm going to be calling it a success!In a bid to make life even easier I'm going to 'allow' myself to use phone shots as well as camera shots. I don't believe there's a rule book anywhere that says camera shots don't capture real life, and since real life is what I want to document I guess a lot of my images will come via the phone. Plus I just can't help my instagram addiction! So without further ado, let me share what December 1 2011 looked like.December came crashing to my attention at 2.30 am when Conor woke and was violently sick all over the bed. Obviously this happened on a night that Michael was working until 3 am, so the whole bed changing/mattress turning was left to me and my gammy shoulder. I then got to enjoy a restless night of Conor not really sleeping beside me. He's never been sick with a tummy bug before, and while there are endless lists of things to hate about having sick children, I can't help but feel that I scored big time today with the sick boy cuddles I got. Check them out! He actually fell asleep on my knee after lunch for the first time in a couple of years. I had nothing important to do so I just sat there and let him sleep, until the postman arrived and I had to sign for a parcel. I enjoyed a full hour of tiny snuggled in because only mummy would do today. I sucked every last drop of that hour in, I can tell you! Sick smells and all!In the moments when Conor was feeling a bit chirpier we began our festive preparations. Elving is what we're calling it this year, with a nod to Soule Mama for such a lovely verb. Paper chains were the order of the day. Simple and fun. And decidedly Christmassy once we got them up. I later added a few lights and small trees and decorations in preparation for a little craft soiree a few friends and I are hosting tomorrow evening. All in all not a bad day's work given the circumstances. The boys' highlight was the first door on their Lego City advent calendar - a criminal with a snowball who is now waiting for someone to aim it at coming out of another door soon!So how was December 1 for you? Do leave a comment because I'm that nosey and I would love to know!

falling in love with my camera

I can see how you would think this a weird post title for someone who writes a photo blog and occasionally makes money from taking photographs. But truth be told, I have not been in love with my camera much of late. I find this with a lot of the creative areas of my life, that there are seasons of fullness and productivity and seasons of quiet when not much happens. Come to think of it, my life in general is often like that. There are periods of busyness and stress which are often my most productive times of the year. Like the summer when I'm all about meeting up with friends and taking the kids places, going on new adventures, planning trips and generally packing as much life as possible into the few sunny days we have.But these times are balanced out by the times when I like to be quiet, stay at home, light candles and read magazines and just be, without doing. And while these times are often not productive, they are just as necessary as the ones that are.It's the same with my camera. There might be months where I am barely to be seen without it. The boys do not like these times! I'll be capturing everything we do with the intention of turning all the images into scrapbook pages they will cherish in years to come. I know in my heart that most of them will never see a scrapbook page, but the dreaming and planning is half the fun. 'Oh look, Conor is shredding pieces of paper with my paper trimmer and there's amazing light shining in that makes it all look magical - that will make an great layout!' Translate - this picture will look awesome and will spend the vast majority of its life in my photo library on my laptop! But that's what drives me to take pictures. So I do. Lots of them. More recently I haven't really been feeling the camera love. And I think that is totally ok. In the past I've tried to force myself to take photos when I haven't really been in the mood. And you know what? You can tell that from the images I produce. So more recently when I've been feeling out of love with the camera I've decided to let it have a nice rest in its cosy Crumpler bag and wait until I'm ready.The magical iPhone really comes into its own at these times. As my previous posts have shown. Because often I still want to capture a moment but I just can't be bothered thinking about ISOs and f.stops and all that technical side of photography.But yesterday, the love returned! Hurrah! As we got ready to head to Mount Stewart for a walk, I grabbed the camera, just in case. And I'm so glad I did. Because look what my lens helped me see . Colour. Shape. Light. Magic. Aside from the beauty of the gardens and lake that are always inspiring, the end of autumn has never looked so alive to me. Which is a bit odd considering that all this colour pretty much signifies the end of a cycle of life. But it was everywhere I looked. And I must have taken hundreds of shots. Which will most likely never see a scrapbook layout! But that's what this blog is for, so I will share a little of what I saw with you.Who knows how long the love will last this time? But while it does I will snap away merrily and witter about the lovely things my lens is showing me right here.

life looks like this

You'll be aware that there's a severe lack of photographs taken with an actual camera in this blog post. The same is true of my photo library in general. Not that I'm not taking photographs, but I can't actually hold my camera very well with my wonky poorly shoulder! So I'm having to make do with my lovely iPhone camera, which means that I can then instantly play with the pictures on instagram and hipstamatic. Hurrah! For pretty technology I am grateful. So via the joys of instagram I bring you a collage of what my life looks like this November.From the top:::  a boy who is constantly reading. The Wimpy Kid series has really got him engrossed and he literally begs to be allowed to read more. Be still my heart!::  bare branches against an autumnal blue sky. So very pretty.::  this sign was at the sideline of the football pitch where Patrick was playing. Not sure what would happen if one did cross it, or, indeed, why one would need a safety line at a football match for 8 and 9 year olds!::  shadow photos. They make me smile. Ginormous legs and titchy tiny heads (moreso than usual)!::  heavenly backlight.....*sigh*::  lots of chess. Brought on by a few days of sickness and no school. It is clear even at age 5 that Tiny is going to be the chess champ of this house!::  a coffee trip to the ever lovely Eden Pottery. Their little robin range is my absolute favourite and I am currently coveting the small square dish for some mini mince pies!::  sideline shadow spectating. Love that football has been accompanied by sunshine and blue skies thus far.::  a bit of a marathon of the Twilight movies in preparation of our upcoming viewing of Breaking Dawn at the weekend. I am aware that this makes me seem rather pathetic on so many levels - love of the books, love for Edward Cullen, potential squealing at movie on Saturday, and the fact that I even bothered to take a photo of the tv while I was watching the DVD at the weekend! But I could. not. care. less!!::  very splashy waves on the incoming tide at the weekend. Neither the dog nor Conor could resist them.::  as a result of the previously mentioned waves Oscar needed a bath. So then I decided to put him in his new doggy wrap/bag thing that dries him off super quickly. He hated it but we couldn't resist a photo because he was really rocking the Jedi look!::  and the piece de resistance was the artwork that followed the bickering/shouting fiasco that was our Sunday. I think the pictures say it all (although they don't fully show the constant screaming at each other that the boys were doing or the fact that my ears were practically bleeding!) And I can't help but love them.So life looks pretty good overall right now in this house. How's life looking with you? Please do leave a comment down there where it says 'Leave a comment" - you have no idea how much they brighten my day! And that Facebook likey button won't tell me who actually likes what I've written. The suspense is killing me, and you know you want to!

a few thoughts on 40

There has really been no getting away from the fact that this would be the year I would turn 40. It's been all around me, especially in the age of social networking. I've watched on Facebook as friends from school have proclaimed the start of a new decade with photos of parties, shouts of Happy Birthday! from friends and family, and all too often, a sense that 40 is NOT. GOOD! Funny how a simple number can come with so many associations attached. So what has 40 meant to me? Well, as with all other numbers from 1-39, it hasn't meant anything at all in terms of my actual age. Miraculously I didn't waken the following day with a load more wrinkles and a hankering for polyester jumpers from Menary's! What I did notice about turning 40 was the following,:: I got special balloons! I mean, have you seen how much fun you can have with just a ballon?:: I got to wear the special ginormous badge - again, what's  not to love about a badge I ask you?:: I had a special cake that even merited number candles!:: All of my boys humoured me and sat still for 10 seconds to let me have a picture taken - that for me is the miracle of the day!:: I got my own party and all my most favourite people in the whole world were there (well nearly, but some were poorly and some were in other countries). And there was Sing Star - I kid you not, it was marvellous!! Admittedly there were also a heap of embarrassing photos from my past dotted around the house, but I'm trying to embrace it all! (Note that I just look like a girl version of Patrick in the school photo!):: People brought me lovely presents - these are only a very small few. My people are very lovely indeed!

look at these cute meringues - all handmade for me by my amazing friend Adele

how cute are these teeny tiny biscuits from the biscuiteers?

another Cath Kidston bag? well, ok then!

:: I got to decide where we were having birthday tea - Little Wing, of course, where we enjoyed pizza, wine and silly photos!

:: There was a whole weekend in London with just  my husband the following week but I shall hold those photos back for a day or two - I would hate for you to get overexcited at my blogging activity in one day! I shall tease you with just one.

I did also notice that my 5th decade opened with a bit of surgery as well - bad timing really and nothing to do with my age (just gammy ligaments). But even surgery at 40 hasn't been all bad.

:: I got to watch the Rugby World Cup semi final uninterrupted in bed!

:: My surgeon drew this fabulous artwork on my shoulder! It's exactly the kind of thing I would tell the boys off for, but it's ok for mums who are 40!

:: AND, I got tea and toast brought to my bed, twice within an hour! Admittedly, post-surgery it was tricky enough managing to pour the tea without spilling it all over myself, but it was a completely fabulous treat. In hindsight, it could have been the 2 shots of morphine that have made this seem so much fun!

So, my final thoughts on turning 40 are these.

:: 40 is just a number. Seriously, you can check - it doesn't come with anything attached to it at all.

:: I don't feel 40. Some days I feel 15, some days I feel 30 and some days I feel 58!! It's all about attitude to what's going on around you. That and not taking it too seriously (because there are definitely some people who are taking it all too seriously!)

:: I don't feel I have to justify my love of Countryfile anymore! I can watch Matt Baker and John Craven each week knowing I'm safely within their intended audience age bracket!

:: And my final, final thought is simply that life is good. I must make of it what I can, with sick kids, stitches in my shoulder and far too many creative thoughts going on in my head all at once. It is all too short and it must be grabbed by the proverbial horns with both hands and have all the goodness squeezed right out of it!

So who's joining me for a bit of life-squeezing this week?

joie de vivre

We were lucky enough to spend a weekend on the north coast just before school started back and the routine kicked in. I can't quite put into adequate words the effect that spending time here has on me, and on us as a family. There is just something about being removed from your everyday surroundings and transplanted into that rugged, mythical landscape that allows my body to heave a sigh of relief and relax into a slower way of life for a few days. Admittedly, it takes a while to adjust to the total lack of internet access, or even 3G, but it is good, this disconnecting from the other busy life we lead.As I was flicking through the photographs I took that weekend, there was a sequence that really sums up in images what time spent in Bushmills, Portrush and Portstewart does to us. It brings joy. Just. That.On this sombre weekend it has been good for me to remember that my life is full of joy. Too often I don't stop to look for it, but it is there. This week I am promising myself that in the midst of the running to and from activities, in Tesco, in the middle of a difficult lesson, and when I'm refereeing the bickering for the 14th time in an hour, I will stop and look around me and find a glimmer of that joy. I hope you see it too.

Oscar

This is just a very quick post to introduce you to someone you will most likely be seeing a lot more of around here in the future. He is extremely cute, has seriously melting brown eyes and had us all smitten in a nanosecond. His name is Oscar.Aaaghhhh! How cute is he?!! He is 21 months old and has just fit right into our little family like he was always meant to be here. Needless to say our boys can still hardly believe we actually got a dog after years of them begging for a pet, even a hamster or gerbil! He is being killed with love and cuddles all round, and I am super excited to have a new (less grumpy and reluctant) model on which to hone my photography skills. And boy do they need honing around fast moving dogs! Count him in as a new, regular blog feature!