Why it’s time for women to get in the photos!

As a photographer with over 15 years of experience, it no longer surprises me when women tell me they don’t like having their photo taken or that they are not photogenic. I know I’m guilty of these comments myself, but I’ve decided enough is enough! I am going to help you discover why it's high time you took centre stage in your photos.

Photos are like mini time capsules, preserving the good times, the hard times and all the bits of life that fall in between. Think of those orange toned photos of yourself when you were a kid rocking some nifty knee socks and Mary Janes circa 1978, or the black and white photos of your grandparents when they were just married. They give us a sense of belonging and preserve the past, and while I might giggle at my mum’s crazy choice of glasses, I have never stopped to think about the size or shape of any of the people in those photos. I am just thankful that someone took the photo and that those memories are safe for future generations to enjoy.

The media myth we are sold

This is probably the biggest barrier to getting in front of a camera for most of us. As women, we have had to battle against the beauty myth from the day we were born. Add to that the ever changing idea of beauty over time, which means there is always a new ‘standard’ being held up as the ideal. The Renaissance admired curves and softness, Edwardian hourglass figures were revered, and since the 1950s the ‘ideal’ has changed every 10 years or so - from stick thin, to comical Barbie-esque figures and everything in between! It’s no wonder that we have issues with our own body confidence. It’s a joke!

But it’s a joke that the media perpetuates every day, that advertisers sell to us, and that clothing stores make worse with the lack of consistent sizing for women’s clothes. This instagram post by body positivity advocate, Alex Light, shows exactly why the shopping experience is often something we dread and that leaves us feeling angry and frustrated with our own amazing bodies.

On top of the lies we have been told through the years about what makes someone beautiful, there are now so many tools at the disposal of every single person which allow these lies to keep circulating in more and more dangerous ways. From filters that smooth out wrinkles, to apps that can change your face from sad and makeup free to happy and glamourous, to others that will shave inches off your waist and thighs at the touch of a screen. Now while I am 100%  here for editing out a scratch from a baby’s face or a spot that typically appeared the day of your photo session, the impact that this software can have on our own self-esteem, let alone that of our kids and young people literally terrifies me.

So let me tell you, those wrinkles you hate are the leftovers of the hundreds of thousands of times you have laughed until your sides ached, those lines on your forehead are the legacy of the time spent raising kids or the career you have chosen. And as for the the extra rolls that we try to squish into a pair of support knickers or hide under baggy jumpers, well, those are actually evidence of a life full of meals that sustained you, ice creams devoured on memory-making holidays and for many of us, the actual birthing of children. We should be celebrating this evidence of life, not criticising ourselves for it! If you’re not doing it for yourself, then you should at least be doing it for your family or even your business.

I often hear my inner voice criticising what I see in the mirror using words and phrases I would never dare use to a friend, or even a stranger. “Gross…fat…ugly…grey…frumpy…look ridiculous…mutton dressed as lamb…” The list is endless, because the comparisons are endless. I worry about how I look in front of my son’s very cool, 21 year old girlfriend, or whether or not I can carry off those wide leg jeans at my age. I constantly try to avoid looking in windows as I pass in case all I can see is my ‘mum tum’ 🙈 All of this because society says we should all aim to be thin, a message constantly backed up by the models used by Next, M&S and most high street stores, as well as the never ending adverts for weight loss apps and programmes. It’s no wonder we don’t want to be in photos!

But think about this - if I was to ask your friends or your family what they love about you, I guarantee that nothing they say would have anything to do with how you look. What they see is your kindness, your creativity, your generosity, the way you laugh with them until you cry, your shared love of the BBC’s Pride and Prejudice, a secure place to be themselves, the person who hugs them when they’re sad, your thoughtfulness, your unwavering support of all they do, your love. And THAT is what makes you beautiful.

You are unique - so celebrate it!

I’ve loved Chesney Hawkes “The One and Only” since it was first released over 30 years ago, but a couple of years ago I really heard a few of the lines for the first time. I quote:

“No one can be myself like I can, for this job I’m the best man, and while that may be true, you are the one and only you.”

I apologise that you’ll be singing that all day, but those words really struck a chord with me. It might have taken me close to 50 years to accept and be content with the person I am, but I can honestly say I really like myself! I love being a wife, mum to 2 boys, a photographer, dog mum, and one-time triathlete, but my love for musical theatre, Agatha Christie, cosy nights in and my Steps playlist are also a massive part of who I am. I’ve definitely reached an age where I can appreciate the quirks that are unique to me and be ok with them. No one else has to love trying new crafts, bingeing on Virgin River on Netflix or playing the soundtrack to Six: The Musical solidly for 2 months, just because I do.

So I want to encourage you to do the same. Whatever your ‘thing’ is, geek out about it! Historical role play? Brilliant! Rebuilding old cars or motorbikes? Shout about it! Campaigning for a cause or issue close to your heart? Tell us all about it! Be your bold, amazing, one-off self to the max!! And the next time you’re in front of a camera, remember that there is only one of you and it deserves to be seen in those photos!

Tips for camera confidence

Want to know the secret to looking your best in photos? Confidence. That’s all.

Ok, I know the celebs have personal stylists and makeup artists galore when they’re on a red carpet or being photographed for Hello! But it’s the confidence underneath that allows those experts to work their magic so well.

“But I’m not a confident person,” I hear  you cry. That’s ok, just pretend. In fact, I encourage pretending! Sometimes in my photo sessions I get clients to fake laugh, and before you know it, the real laughs are coming out as well. Fake it til you make it is a great little tip in lots of areas of life, and when you’re in front of the camera it is the best advice I can give. Acting like you’re having fun will result in you having fun. Pretending you don’t care about the flaws and imperfections only you see will come across like you actually love the way you look. All of which will result in photos of you that you love and want to share.

A good photographer will have an armoury of tricks up their sleeves to help you feel confident in front of the camera. From directions about what to do or where to put your hands, to talking your ear off so you don’t even notice the shutter going off every 2 seconds. Often the best part of a shoot for me is at the end when mum or my female brand client tells me how much fun they’ve had or that it didn’t feel like they were having their photograph taken. I was so delighted to get this feedback from a mum on one of my summer photo sessions:

“Janine put us at ease immediately. She just has a way making it not feel weird stalking through the long grass together while the park runners go by.”

If your photographer can make you not feel weird, then you’re going to love your images and be glad you did the brave thing in getting in them.

The key to magical photos is YOU!

There is no big secret to photos of yourself that you love - you just have to be yourself. Those lies we are sold, the red carpet photos of our favourite actors and celebs, those filters, they are all simply there to make money out of women's insecurities. In fact, several of those actors, including Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet have recently spoken out boldly about the body shaming they have experienced and the culture that has taught us to hate our bodies. Quite frankly, as I have fan-girled over both of these amazing women for decades, I’m inclined to believe them more than the adverts on social media! Along with my long term girl crush, Dawn French, who I think is one of the most beautiful women alive!

So the next time a camera is passed in front of you, or you decline the opportunity for a passing stranger to take a photo with you in it as well, just shut down that inner critic and get in the bally photo!! Because at the end of the day, you need to let the world know that you are here, you are doing your thing and YOU ARE AMAZING!!

Want a bit more on this topic?

Check out the links below to other social media accounts and video clips that you might find useful.

Emma Thompson speaking out about body image

Kate Winslet’s talk to young people about body image

Alex Light’s Instagram and her bestselling book, You Are Not a Before Picture

Em Clarkson - body confidence ambassador

Dawn French on Instagram - just because!

The One and Only - Chesney Hawkes (I dare you not to listen to it and be smiling by 15 seconds in!)

And finally…

If you would like to chat about how being in the photos is important to your family or to your business, I am here for that!! You can find me at all the following places:

My website | Instagram (my fave hangout!) | LinkedIn

As a final guarantee, all of the women in the photos taken by me in this post are women who did not want to have their photo taken or who said they look terrible in photos! Which just goes to show what they know!!