And no, I don't mean my post-children body, although I can see why you would have immediately made that connection! No, let me run you through my day so far.
1. Got up at 6.45 to feed Conor - not a bad start
2. 7 am Patrick appeared after having asked for and drunk 2 glasses of apple juice in bed
3. 7.05 Patrick produces 2 glasses of apple juice all over the kitchen floor and down his jammies
4. 7.10 Get Patrick changed and discover that he has the dreaded pox! It was inevitable since half his nursery school have had it and he's not been particularly well for about a week
5. Everyone is content for a while so mummy gets a shower and fixes foxy new hair do
6. 9 am Conor goes back to bed (admittedly this is anything but pear-shaped and is indeed heart-shaped!)
7. Mummy is so pleased that all is well in her happy (poxy) house that she decides to clean a bit
8. 10am after cleaning the kitchen I notice a funny smell, only to realise I'm about to set the house on fire because the steriliser, which is sitting rather dangerously I admit on the hob, is quietly melting! I had accidentally knocked on the ring where it was sitting as I cleaned the cooker and it was spreading all over the top of the hob!
9. Patrick has a blue fit because he thinks the smoke alarm is about to go off - why wouldn't it since there is now smoke practically bellowing out of my kitchen as I scramble to get the melting plasitc off the ceramic hob so that Michael doesn't have to know about this if I choose not to tell him. He rarely reads this, but I've just realised that most of the steriliser is now all over one of his wallpaper scrapers so the truth will out eventually!
10. All is well now and harmony is restored - at least for a while, although foxy new hair do is looking decidedly un-foxy due to sweating over earlier fire hazzard. Conor is just about to make an appearance, so I can only guess what will happen next.
Do check back later for further installments of crazy life with Janine and the boys. I hope no one from social services reads this!!!