On fear and jumping in with both feet

Yesterday was the beginning of Maegan's Creativity Boot Camp for this year, and much as I was excited about what all we might get up to over the next 2 weeks, I was also filled with a little bit of fear. It's a fear I know all too well. The one that makes me think I'm not as good at things as others, the one that makes me doubt myself, the one that stops me from taking risks and just jumping in with both feet. I don't really like this fear much at all!Today the creative prompt was to paint, just for the sake of painting. Now I am not a painter. So guess what the fear said to me? Amongst other things it said I wasn't going to be much cop at this at all. It said the rubbish ancient paints I have wouldn't be the right kind at all. It said my equipment in general was cheap and nasty (to be fair, it wasn't wrong here, but it should keep its opinions to itself!). It said I wouldn't have the time to make a proper go of it anyway. And it shouted loudly that other people would do much better than me.After the fear told me all of those things, guess what I did? I told it to shut up and get out of the way so that I could get to my cheap and nasty brushes and dip them in my ancient paint and make a jolly great painty mess! Which looked like this for a while.(the fear also told me it would be too scary to share my wick painting with the world so check me out, kicking that fear's butt!)The bad lighting in the photo adds a bit of atmosphere if you ask me! I had no clue where to start so I literally started by slapping some paint on the page, then added a bit more. And then, using an idea I've seen Kelly Rae Roberts use way more beautifully than this, I painted bubble wrap and slapped it on as well, creating some fancy dancy patterns! Who knew how much fun it would be?!The prompt said to just do what felt good, whether it be drawing on the paint, painting on the paint or collaging. Ah, collaging...it appealed to my inner scrapbooker! Tearing pieces of paper and sticking them willy-nilly all over the page. I'd also forgotten how much fun that was! After a bit of tearing and sticking and generally playing at being a child for a while, my pages ended up looking like this.I don't think it has any hidden meaning, it is just a collection of colours and images that appealed to me. The bits of text are from an old book I have further plans for, and the passage seemed to hit the nail on the head for me right now. Words about living the life we are meant to live, learning along the way and picking ourselves up when we fall down. I don't know about you, but I want to do all those things in great measures. And for now, this Boot Camp is a way for me to learn, to take a few creative risks, and who knows, it may even help direct me towards the life I'm meant to be living. Do check back now and again for further updates on how I'm defeating that fear and the artistic endeavours that push me way out of my comfort zone. It's bound to be comical at times if nothing else!