I have a lot going on in my head most of the time. To the people who live with me and who know me best this will come as no great shock – I constantly have a mental list of things to do, things I want to do, blogs to check out, gifts to buy, layouts I want to create, photos I want to take. You get the idea. The noise inside my head is often so loud it honestly surprises me that no one else can hear it. It comes in cycles, this busyness, and at this time of year it seems to step up a gear. Currently in my mind I am..
:: trying to remember all the other things I mean to do while I'm online;
:: planning some big changes to my photography website and business plan;
:: making a list of the little things the boys might want to ask Santa for (the phone Patrick mentioned is not on that list!)
:: resisting the urge to go and get the half bar of Dairy Milk from the fridge;
:: squashing down the list of things I have to do in school this week;
:: wondering where on earth I'm going to get a gum shield for Patrick before tomorrow's mini rugby game;
:: planning tomorrow's dinner;
:: thinking about all the layouts I'd love to be creating but just never get around to.
I know I'm no different from most of my friends and that we're all juggling a multitude of seemingly (and actually) vital balls at one time, but I can't help but feel that somehow all this mental busyness is holding me back from just being present in, and enjoying life as it happens. I want to slow things down and focus on the good stuff while still making headway on all the stuff that I really want to get cracking on.
So I'm working on it. A little bit at a time. Trying to take at least one picture a day because I want to work on being a better photographer. Setting a doable list of jobs to move the business forward a bit more. Trying to take a deep breath and not panic because Christmas is a whole quarter of a year away. Accepting that the fight against the chocolate in the fridge was lost before it began! And knowing that if even some of those layouts make it to reality then a little bit more of who we are and what we did will be preserved just a little bit longer.
I'll be surprised if the amount of stuff going on in my head suddenly diminishes anytime soon, and with the wedding coming up in just 4 weeks I can only imagine there'll be more going on in there than ever! But I shall keep working on it. And of course, do my best to turn my mental blogging into actual posts which will hopefully let you see just how well I'm doing with that list up there. (The chocolate is no longer in the fridge, but at least that's one thing ticked off!)